Life can only get better

My mama never told me.... That life can only get better after it has completely gone to the toilet. Since my last blog, life moved forward. Friends have been lost, grieved, and missed. Things became normal again, I guess. If you call working to forget, making everyone else happy so that no one will notice that you aren't...normal. So, I visited a new PA who suggested I try a few medicinal products to help me get through my rough patch. Turns out, I will greatly need those products in the years to come. Last month my brother, who is only 3 years older than I am, had a massive hemmoraghic storke. It left him partially paralyzed on his left side. My parents happened to be in the middle of the ocean on a cruise when the stroke occurred. I was all alone, or at least I felt alone. I had to make life changing decisions for my brother and the weight of the world felt to great for me to bear. On his 3rd day in ICU, my parents finally arrived home. By this point, I had pretty much lost my damn mind. My meds were not working and my socially inappropriate outburst were getting on my families nerves. So, I went back to my PA who upped my meds to help me get through what she thought was shock. About a week after the increase, I began to feel emtions again. I had not been able to really cry or laugh since the third day of my brother's hospital stay. I spent most of my free time with my family at the hospital. My brother is divorced and not in a relationship. None of us wanted him to be alone. After about 20 days in the hospital and many complications later, my brother finally moved to the Rehab wing of the hosptial. We were then told that after intensive therapy there, he would still need 1-2 months of rehab at home before he could do things on his own. So, I resigned from my job to take care of my brother. Every day seems more and more like a summer vacation. Although, we walk outside instead of running. We do most of the same things that we did when we were young...we throw balls in the house, we complain that mom never has anything good to eat, we make fun of eachother, and we laugh... A LOT! Life CAN only get better...if you let it. I can't drown my sorrows. I have to look up and remember that my time here is limited and if meds keep me going so that I can see the best part of life, then fill my Rx!!!